when I said i was ballooning? I didnt take myself seriously. Till now. I am fucking fat. I can see 2 rolls of fat happily squishing each other when i sit down. oh lord.

But. I am still fucking eating!!!!!!! I hate myself. No control over my stupid cravings. and as I am typing? I am enjoying my wonderful fresh banana ice cream from island creamery. It rocks man!! you guys have to try it!!! YuMMY.

ok now I am bloody bloated. screw it.

suddenly i feel really bored. I need something fun in my life.

til i find that fun element in life? Let me sleep.

was never.and will never be.

so for the past month I've been dreaming. In a dreamland. nothing is ever what it seems huh. Or maybe its that I already know of the outcome yet I stubbornly clung on. I don't regret clinging on. but. The truth is so obvious before me. And I've been so blind. so ignorant. i have been thinking too much. I need to stop. my brain doesn't listen. so difficult. why is it that whenever I like someone, it never never NEVER works out? Yes i know this time is a little difficult. but all i wanted was just to............................ well. I wish things were different. you are just not right for me. remember? wrong. its just wrong.



there was never an us. there'll never be an us.


so much for all the nothing huh.

20/4/2006 - sunny, rainy and cool.

Today would most probably be the best day of the week. I had a really nice day. It doesn't take much to make me happy. haha.

Woke up at 730. Died trying to wake up. haha. I usually go to school at 1130! So this morning was pretty early.. I hate waking up. I like to laze on the bed cause I am juz too lazy. hahaha. well. I HAD to wake up or Siew Yuan will KILL me. I am always late for project even though I live so near to sch and she lives so far. So for a change, I try to be on time.

I was pretty much on time. Ok. Maybe late for about 3 minutes or so. OK. Doesn't matter. Anyway, we were supposed to go to the water reclamation plants [ WRP ] in Singapore for collection of sewage water!!! For our project of course. Isolation of Bacteriophage for those of you who haven't know about it. So, the dirtier the better. Ok. Yuan drove us!!!!!!! hahahha. It was an adventure!!! She looked up the internet on directions of the WRPs the night before and I was reading them to her in the car. Damn cool k!! Who says women sucked at driving!! Our yuan was PRO! hahaha. Felt like it was my mom driving instead. hahhaa. Anyway, her driving seriously not bad. At least i felt safe. HAHAHA. yeah. So we went to Jurong WRP first. That one super easy. We handed them the tubes for cllection and they disappeared for 15 minutes before reappearing again with the water samples!!! YAY!! Fast and easy. We didnt even go into the plant. We were juz slacking at the office. And then Yuan cleverly parked her car in the WRP GM's parking space. The GM fucking pissed. NO la. hahaha. nothing much la. He juz talked to Yuan abit, asking about our project and stuff. then, We were off with the samples!!

Next. Seletar WRP. We weren't supposed to go? We didn't really fix an appointment with the manager but he juz called at about 10 am and asked us to go down. So off we went. Got a little lost after we exited the BKE at mandai road. We turned into Kranji industrail park!!! messy. Anyway, I called my dad and got the right directions and we sped off to Seletar WRP. DAMN FAR. hahaha. the road to SWRP seems never ending. Anyway, we finally reached after 45 minutes of driving ( yes i know very long but it wasn't easy finding our way there considering the fact that we don't know the roads of sg very well. I am so proud of us. ) and we were greeted by a REALLY friendly manager. he has the hots for yuan I think. EEEEEEEEEEEE!!! he's at least 45 k. He kinda scolded his colleague for driving too fast and actually accused him of not collecting the water properly ( as in like collect the surface of the water only. ) for us. EW. I wouldn't do that for 2 girls. Even if I were really a lecherous ah pek. anyway, SWRP was pretty easy too. We followed the guy in our car and he got us the sample. EASILY DONED.

Yuan's friendly manager kindly directed us to the ayer don't know what what what place roti prata. We had lunch there. I was bloody hungry. I had a chicken briyani rice. The serving was super BIG. Cost 7 bucks. SO EX. Yuan eat 2 kosong. cheap cheap 2.70 nia plus drink. yeayea. then we got on to the road for yet another perilous journey. ha!

Kim Chuan WRP was next. The smelliest. YES. and after the food, we were all so lethargic. And we had to walk to get the samples ourselves. KCWRP - voted the worse WRP in sg. enough said.

Bedok WRP. same crap. Not that smelly but had to walk under the hot hot sun to the places to get the samples. as bad as KCWRP. ok. maybe a nanobit better. after the whole trip, I couldn't take it. I snoozed in the car while my 'mom' drove us back to sch.

yuan was so happy to reach sch again. Only she knows why. Peeeeeeebeeeeeee.

We finished up with some lab work and were done for the day. yay!

Ok. my day ends there but evening was juz about to start! Went to meet pei jia. eat with her and talked cock with her! haha. fun night. I love walking. aways have. Makes it all the better to walk with her. From heeren all the way to the botanical gardens. considered short distance I guess. I talked to her about 'samurai champloo' (thats an anime all of u dumb asses.) and its soundtrack. I must say the sound track rocks. Very easy listening music. go listen to it or something. I let her listen to the ost and she liked it too! yea samurai champloo rocks. watch it. walking was great man. we went to the botanical garden. omg. the sky was cloudless and I could see so many stars. So nice. then there was this lonely swan gliding around the lake. poor chap. pei jia and cynthia named it Dawn. so its a female? unknown. Well. doesn't matter. Its cute. I am so going back there!

there. My wonderful 20/4/2006.

ballooning.

I really like to eat. I am sure u all know that. And its not so good for me. I've been pigging out so much lately that my waist looks pretty much out of shape! OMG. But i still cant help it!!! I want food!! Food makes me feel so good!!!! NYDC mudpies, cakes, baked rice!! Holland V nasi Lemak, laksa, oyster omelette's minus the oyster [ haha. I know! ], Island creamery's wonderful burnt caramel, fresh banana, reverso, mudpie, eskimo pie, and so much more! Coffee bean's eggs ben, ice blends!! SIM food court's dumpling soup, oily chicken rice, chicken cutlet rice!! so much more that if I name now I think I won't be able to resist and I'll cab down to those places to eat! haha. no la... thats too extreme but........... I am so hungry now!!!! And I already ate the SIM dumpling soup an hour ago!! WAH. A mudpie will be so good now. ARGH!!!!!!

Then I gotta constantly remind myself. "Yinghui! Your out-of-shape waist!!!" then I'll bury myself under my blanket and think " mudpie, icecream, nasi lemak, baked rice, laksa, chicken wing, more ice cream, more mud pies, more everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Then faints.

I hang out at NYDC @ holland V so regularly that the people working there knows me! OMG. Wonder if I'll get any free mudpie if I get to know them. *tee hee* ARGH. stop it. and you know what? I went to the Island Creamery last night and I got a free scoop of fresh banana because i wanted it and the tub had less than a scoop left. so the waitress decided to give it to me for free!!! Such a nice girl!!! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I am dying to go have ice cream again. but I shall SURVIVE!!! EVIL DARTH FOOD!! YOU SHALL NEVER GET ME!!!!!


right.

girls do stupid stuff.

omg. hahahha. this is madness. and girls do stupid stuff when they have a crush. so did I. OMG? How do I say this. ARGH. The thing is......... when you blog? U cant always say what you want to say. So......... i chance upon someone's blog which was talking about him. and I told him what i read in that blog. and this someone found out because of his big mouth. And apparently that someone is kinda....... erm. pissed? I dunno. maybe embarrassed? And its my fault. shit. I feel stupid now. OKAY. maybe no one understand swhat I'm trying to say??? BUT I feel so stupid now. arghhh. I should have kept my mouth shut. If the truth unfolds, I'll look like a fucking idiot.

burnt. charred. chow ta. black.

I'm really playing with fire. I know but cant help it. I think i'll be burnt to death.

tra la la

lets juz say I am fucking confused now. because I am. arghhh. So hard to say things.

A story i found in my previous blog.

The little leaf watched as the cars whizzed by. She hung dangerously on the weak branch which was swaying violently on the tree. All the other leaves chatted gayly, oblivious to the little leaf who was falling. A look of panic skitted across her face as she realised she was falling."Nooooooooooo!"she screamed. Nobody noticed her."ooff!"The little leaf cried out in pain as she landed on the rough surface of the road. Tears spilled from the corners of her eyes. But little did she know that more pain was to come.The traffic light a metre away turned green.The leaf's eyes widen in horror as she realised she was going to be trampled by the shiny smoking monsters.She could only watch on in horror and in pain as the garguantan black wheels crushed down on her brittle edges, chipping her life away."Help!!"The little leaf looked around frantically searching for an aid. But nobody saw her pathetic plight.Save for a young girl in a stationery car from another side of the road.The young girl watched on as the little leaf repeatedly got trampled and blown to the side of the road. She couldn't help but felt sad for the little leaf.That little leaf didn't deserve this terrible treatment. But neither did the young girl. Life was filled with troubles and sadness for the young girl. In reality, the young girl was just like the little leaf.The car the young girl was in roared to life after a while. The young girl gave a last look as her father drove the car off, leaving the little leaf alone again.


can u imagine? I use to write like this? SAD. PESSIMISTIC. AND GOOD ENGLISH OF COURSE. LOOK AT MY BLOODY ENGLISH NOW MAN.

then I also found this:

My heart was thumping so loud my ears are hurting. He was juz standing there. "dun look." I told myself. I didn't. He walked past me without even looking at me. My heart fell. The furious thumpings ceased. I squatted down on the spot where i was standing. He's gone.


probably refering to an old crush I had when I was in secondary school. hmmmm. Its time to read more n improve my english. I used to be a bookworm. read and read and read like there was no tomorrow.